Warning: My Son Will Roast You

Being a single mom has its challenges. But being a dating single mom is even more difficult. I’m often caught between my date or boyfriend and my son.

Here’s a story, “Warning: My Son Will Roast You,” recently published in a dating issue from Beyond Words Literary Magazine.

“I am the tugboat, you’re The Queen Elizabeth,” my boyfriend, Rick, told me one evening after he prepared me a salmon dinner at his house, which was cluttered with skis, bicycles and a telescope.

Rick was an engineer who volunteered for the local planning department. I admired his desire to do good in the world. I liked his big brown eyes, high cheekbones and thick dark hair.

“You’re so independent, you don’t need anything,” he said, between kisses and sips of sulfite-free Chardonnay. I had brought the wine in the hopes he wouldn’t succumb to a migraine, which struck after a bad day, wine or chicken wings.

Rick’s migraines showed that he was sensitive, a positive quality, I thought, even if his migraines prompted a wave of whining about his boss, his dissatisfaction with his volunteer work and his dislike of his ex wife.

“What can I possibly bring to your life, Queen Elizabeth?” he asked.

I was a single mother to a 13-year-old boy who loved Legos and building projects.

“I have a sweet boy who wants someone to put together Lego sets with him,” I said.

My description of my son was a bit misleading. Michael, a book lover, had a sharp tongue and huge vocabulary that he often employed to roast his friends, our neighbors, and soon enough, Rick.

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